Writer's Spotlight #2: Marisa Jade

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hi, thanks so much for joining me. I'm King Loki. I'm the editor of Deathwish Poetry magazine and the host of the Demon Toast podcast. And I'd like to thank you for checking out this video. This is a series where I interview the writers that are published through Death Wish, whether that's through our digital magazine or our upcoming physical magazine, to be announced very soon. I just want you to know that our writers come from all walks of life. Some of them are experienced, seasoned, practiced writers with books and publications that span digital and print, and others are just starting out. Some of them are my age, in their 30s, others are in their 20s, and still others are even older than me. And I just think it's fantastic that we here at Death Wish Poetry can cast a shadow like that as broad and dark that allows all these different, incredibly talented individuals to shine. [00:00:58] Speaker B: Hi everyone. My name is Marissa Jade, and I will be reading to you one of my poems that got published in Death Wish Poetry magazine. [00:01:07] Speaker C: So this is called. The world hated me first. Persecution. The art of bloodshed. The crack of a whip against my back. The splitting of my soul. One half is alive and the other half burns alive with rage. Scene 1 the girl with four heads. A girl with brown hair and black eyes, can be seen sitting down on a throne. The throne is just as dark and as soulless as her eyes. The girl is wearing a long white gown and is barefoot. Her hands and feet are covered in black sludge. The girl has no name and shall not be named for the rest of this poem. The girl is fully functional. She looks like a human. One head, two hands, two feet. The girl speaks in free verse. I am not like other girls. My most girls have two heads. I have four. Allow me to show them to you. The girl stands up and rips her body in half, almost as if she was wearing a costume made of silicone. She shows the audience her true form. A girl with four heads. Each head could be separated and become its own being. The girl spoke again. Allow me to introduce myself. Or should I say, allow us to introduce ourselves. I was feared by many. I became the enemy of songbirds, actors and actresses. I became an enemy to writers and authors, and I even got pupils and professors to fear me. Fear me, fear me like how you fear the reaper. You can't escape my holy beauty. I came home one day after the incident, and the voices in my head were speaking to me. They were angry. They told me to write my feelings down. So I did. This is what happens when you are a bitch. And disrespect the quiet girl, you become a part of the Sea of Abominations. Scene two the Sea of Abominations. You, as the reader, are inside my head and can read my thoughts. Each imagined conversation can be seen In a bright glass orb. The Sea of Abominations appears. The Sea of Abominations, like the name suggests, is an abomination. The Sea of Abominations is a young woman with three heads, one for each past instructor that I had in a previous life. [00:03:55] Speaker B: Life Q and A. [00:03:57] Speaker C: With the Sea of Abominations written in blood, why let my enemies sing? Reject. Why am I the understudy? Outcast? Why? Do you rebuke me, Jesus? Do you rebuke me in the name of Jesus? Wicca? Do you hate me? No. Are you jealous of me? Away with you. Are you insecure, Satan? Tear my heart out into a million little pieces. Mark my body with your words and return your soul back to its center. Forget you. Forget me. And forget that damn letter. Just burn it already. Burn it right out of my skull. [00:04:50] Speaker A: Beautiful stuff. [00:04:51] Speaker B: Hi everyone. My name is Marissa Jade and I will be reading to you one of my poems that got published in Death Wish Poetry Magazine. So this is called. [00:05:02] Speaker C: The world hated me first. Persecution. The art of bloodshed. The crack of a whip against my back. The splitting of my soul. One half is alive and the other half burns alive with rage. Scene 1 the girl with four heads. A girl with brown hair and black eyes can be seen sitting down on a throne. The throne is just as dark and as soulless as her eyes. The girl is wearing a long white gown and is barefoot. Her hands and feet are covered in black sludge. The girl has no name and shall not be named for the rest of this poem. The girl is fully functional. She looks like a human. One head, two hands, two feet. The girl speaks in free verse. I am not like other girls. Not most girls have two heads. I have four. Allow me to show them to you. The girl stands up and rips her body in half, almost as if she was wearing a costume made of silicone. She shows the audience her true form. A girl with four heads. Each head could be separated and become its own being. The girl spoke again. Allow me to introduce myself. Or should I say, allow us to introduce ourselves. I was feared by many. I became the enemy of songbirds, actors and actresses. I became an enemy to writers and authors. And I even got pupils and professors to fear me. Fear me. Fear me like how you fear the reaper. You can't escape my holy beauty. I came home one day after the incident and the voices in my head were speaking to me. They were angry. They told me to write my feelings down. So I did. This is what happens when you are a bitch and disrespect the quiet girl. You become a part of the Sea of abominations. Scene 2 the Sea of Abominations. You, as the reader, are inside my head and can read my thoughts. Each imagined conversation can be seen in a bright glass orb. The Sea of Abominations appears. The Sea of Abominations, like the name suggests, is an abomination. The Sea of Abominations is a young woman with three heads, one for each past instructor that I had in a previous life. [00:07:51] Speaker B: Q and A. [00:07:51] Speaker C: With the Sea of Abominations written in blood. Why let my enemies sing? Reject? Why am I the understudy? Outcast? Why do you rebuke me, Jesus? Do you rebuke me in the name of Jesus Wicca? Do you hate me? No. Are you jealous of me? Away with you. Are you insecure, Satan? Tear my heart out into a million little pieces. Mark my body with your words and return your soul back to its center. Forget you. Forget me. And forget that damn letter. Just burn it already. Burn it right out of my skull. [00:08:44] Speaker A: Beautiful stuff. Hi there. Welcome to Death Wish Poetry's first author Spotlight. This is a new series we're doing where we interview and spotlight some of the awesome writers that we publish and as part of our promotion of them. So, you know, if you're someone who has been published with Death Wish, hit us up, email us, and chances are we'll interview you, too. With that being the case today we've got Marissa Jade, one of our brilliant, awesome writers. She's an incredibly talented poet, and she's here today to talk about her process, what makes her tick, and her writing. Marissa, how you doing? [00:09:23] Speaker B: I'm good. How are you? [00:09:26] Speaker A: I've never had a bad day. By the way, you do like to be addressed as Marissa Jade, right? Like Marissa, right? [00:09:34] Speaker B: Yeah. Some of my followers like to call me MJ as well. Okay, whatever works. [00:09:40] Speaker A: Yeah. When we first connected, I actually thought it was a pen name and that it was like a Star wars thing. There's a. Yeah, there's a character called Mara Jade that, you know, it was like Luke Skywalker's wife or something. But that's not. That is not the case. So anyway, what would you say motivates you to write in general? [00:10:03] Speaker B: I'd say there's a couple of things. As you know, I am a Christian poet. I am a fiction writer, and I'm also a playwright. So, you know, God would be the main. The main motivator. But I would say music also motivates me as well. I listen to a lot of classical music when I write, and especially when I read as well. [00:10:32] Speaker A: Cool. When you say classical, what do you mean? Do you mean, like Mozart, Bach, or do you mean, like. I mean, you know, just in general. [00:10:39] Speaker B: I don't really listen to a particular composer. I do listen to Beethoven, Mozart, Vivaldi, all of them. [00:10:49] Speaker A: Cool. Oh, that's interesting. Now, would you say that you're an ecstatic, emotional writer, or do you plan these ahead of time? You know, the World Hated Me, which is the World Hated Me first, rather. That's the full title. [00:11:04] Speaker B: Right. [00:11:04] Speaker A: That was the first thing we published. And I thought it was such an incredible piece, but that is a very emotional piece. But it has distinguishable structures and multiple, like, sections to it, you know? Let me. Let me expand on my question with a simple quote. So there's. There's this man you might have heard of called, named George R.R. martin. You know, he wrote Game of Thrones. And he says there's two kinds of writers. You may disagree with this. Also down with that, you know, but he says two kinds of. There are gardeners and there are architects. Architects know everything that goes into their piece. They know the beginning, the middle, the end, the characters, where they come from, and they just plop it all down. It might take forever, but they do it. Gardeners, they plant their seeds, they start trimming, they cut this and that, and maybe after 50 years, it's done, you know. Right. So how would you. I mean, you know, how do you come at your work? Right. Because I could see both being the case for you. [00:11:59] Speaker B: Yeah, I would say for me, I guess it depends on what project I'm working on. I can be a little bit of both. For the world Hated Me first. It was. I was definitely a very emotional type of writer. There was a lot of emotions I was going through when I wrote it. There was a lot of confusion. There was a lot of anger, a lot of sadness. And when you read my piece, you. You definitely feel that. But also with bigger projects, especially if I'm, like, doing, like, the plot, I know exactly. Like, usually what happens is I know the beginning, I know the very end, but I don't know, like, everything else. So it's like, hey, you just gotta write it, so that's what you gotta do. [00:12:48] Speaker A: Yeah, truer. Words were never spoken. At the end of the day, you just gotta fucking write it. Like I get. [00:12:53] Speaker B: Right. Exactly. [00:12:54] Speaker A: I get there with my work sometimes where I'm like, what. What does Shatter do next? Like, it's like just, just write it. Stop overthinking it. Like just, just fucking do it. It does vary by the piece. And at the end of the day, whatever works, works. Right. I find personally that writer's block is an issue with planning. Like when I don't fully understand a piece or what I'm going for, I just eventually reach a point where I'm stuck in the. You know, there's an old Charlie Chaplin movie where he's working at a factory and he get. He falls on the conveyor belt and you see him like stuck in the gears. That's how I get. You know, maybe I'll throw a clip of it here. But like, point is, is that like, do you find that writer's block is a problem or, you know. [00:13:38] Speaker B: Sometimes there, there actually is a quote. I believe it was by Stephen King that said it. He said, if you are. If you're unmotivated to write, read. If you're unmotivated to read, write or. [00:13:54] Speaker A: Something like that, that's a good maxim to live by. A lot of professional writers will tell you to write every day and that's a hard thing to do. [00:14:02] Speaker B: It is. [00:14:04] Speaker A: I say that as a working class writer myself, so. [00:14:07] Speaker B: Right. [00:14:08] Speaker A: Like I, I happen to have a job where I can do that. I can write every day. But yeah, I agree. You should be reading non stop. Not just because your, your sort of will to write ebbs and flows, but because like, you got to be taking in other influences. You know what I mean? [00:14:23] Speaker B: Right, exactly. [00:14:24] Speaker A: Yeah. You're, you know, you're living in a hole in the wall, not experiencing the world while so much art is out there begging to be, you know, experienced. So I think that's a great quote. That's a good point too. Hey, I also, I wanted to expand on the World Hated Me first, you know, because there is kind of a biblical rhythm to the piece. Did you want to speak to that? You know, I mean, it seems like in a certain sense you become like. Or the speaker rather becomes like the beast of Revelation or something. I don't know. I mean, I am, I'm a Jewish person. I. My knowledge of the New Testament is very limited. [00:15:00] Speaker B: Right. [00:15:01] Speaker A: So enlighten me and our viewers. Listeners. [00:15:05] Speaker B: Sure. So with the World Hated Me first, of course, the title very much came from Jesus. I believe in the Book of John, that's when he tells his disciples that, hey, just remember, if the world hates you, just know that it hated me first. If you want, I'd also be happy to explain some of the sections. So in the poem, there are six sections. There's quite a couple where I sort of. I don't want to say, like, I become like, certain biblical figures, but I do kind of, like, understand, like, their role. So, like, for example, there is a section where I title it the Sea of Abominations. I believe it was one that you said that you very much enjoyed the most out of all of them. It was actually my favorite one that I wrote. And towards the end of the poem, you kind of see the phrase, what is it? No, away with you, Satan. And it was actually something that Jesus had said to Satan when he tried tempting him in the desert after fasting for 40 days. And it was during that point where I sort of felt like Satan, what it was like to feel like the devil. So. And I think it's. It's pretty crazy. [00:16:32] Speaker A: Well, it can be, sure. I mean, like, you know, the Bible, I mean, obviously you have your religious beliefs, but the Bible is first and foremost a work of literature, you know. [00:16:40] Speaker B: Right. [00:16:41] Speaker A: And, you know, obviously, like, to you, it is. It is gospel truth. Yes. You know, like, not here to dispute that, but, like, the only interface you really get with, like, God or any of anything like that is this written word. So what are you engaging with? You're engaging with it as literature. And you, you being a poet, of course you're going to do that sort of projection where you're like, oh, Abraham doing all this stuff, or Mr. Jesus, you know, in the garden of Gethsemane, Lord, take this cup from my mouth, you know. [00:17:14] Speaker B: Right, exactly. [00:17:15] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. You know, I don't know what. Are you any particular denomination of Christianity? [00:17:24] Speaker B: I'm not denominational. I don't really. I just feel like I never really fit into a particular church. [00:17:31] Speaker C: Sure. [00:17:32] Speaker B: So. Yeah, sure, sure. [00:17:34] Speaker A: And that's probably why you can hang with someone weird like me, you know, some weird, like, atheist, quasi pagan weirdo like me. You know what I mean? Yeah. It helps that we're respectful of people's beliefs, too. So, you know, some people are not. [00:17:50] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:17:51] Speaker A: We live in scary times. So I understand why people get so, like, you know, like, they hear Christianity and they run, you know. But yeah, honestly, we're talking about things that are much broader than any one person. And like, someone like you who's like a Christian and, you know, you get something out of Christianity. There's really, like. I don't. You know what I mean? So I think. [00:18:12] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:18:13] Speaker A: So I think that's cool, though. I mean, like, you know, Mr. Satan isn't really given much character in the Bible, unfortunately, because he's not really a part of it. Like, he shows up the 10th Jesus in the desert in that one sequence. But, you know, there's obviously a whole wealth of literature expanding his. His. His identity, actually. Here, let's look at that real fast. The world hated me first because, like, you do some cool stuff. Q and A with the sea of abominations written in blood. Why let my enemies sing? Reject? Why am I the understudy Outcast? Why do you rebuke me, Jesus? Do you rebuke me in the name of Jesus? Wicca? Do you hate me? No. Are you jealous of me? Away with you. Are you insecure, Satan? What's going on there? Because I loved that. It was almost like. It was almost like Gertrude Stein's buttons or something, you know, Like. Like, was it. Was it just word association? Or is there something deeper going on there? Like, Wicca, like, whoa. Like, are you. [00:19:14] Speaker B: So funny how you would ask that, because I'm actually looking at it right now. Sure. Oh, when. When the. The name or the phrase, like the sea of abominations kind of, like, came into mind, that, like, the reason why I wrote, like, oh, Q and A with the sea of abominations written in blood, I kind of just, like, see this character with, like, multiple heads or multiple eyes. And. And the thing about me as an artist is that when I'm naming my characters or when a name just, like, comes to me naturally, I automatically, like, envision my character and even, like, the color palette. So I actually do imagine, like, the sea of abominations to be a woman with three heads. And she's got, like, this aura of, like, white and red, and she's, like, almost like bathing in neurons. [00:20:13] Speaker A: So it's. [00:20:14] Speaker B: I actually think it's really cool. But when I think of, like, the three heads, I kind of envision, like, the Trinity when it comes to arts. For me, it would be choir, theater, and creative writing. So each of the heads kind of almost, like, symbolize, like, different teachers that I had at the time. And. Oh, you meant for you, like, the. You know, why let my enemies sing? It reminded me of back in high school. For example. There was this one girl who auditioned at the very last minute to get this solo, and I was supposed to get it, but she ended up getting it so. [00:20:59] Speaker A: Right. Right. [00:21:01] Speaker B: Or like, with me being the understudy, I think that's also where my love of theater and playwriting came from. I did take a couple of years in theater and I took, I think, five years in choir. But every time I would get a role in theater, I would either be somewhere in the background or I would have, like, a small role. But, you know, when I'm writing my own stuff, I could be whatever I want to be. I can be the main character. [00:21:33] Speaker A: Or you're the composer, you're the director now. [00:21:35] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. I'm not just the. The understudy or the actor, but I'm also the playwright. [00:21:44] Speaker A: Oscar Wilde has a. Has a quote, a really cool quote where he says that the. The novelist's first novel is always the novelist himself, as Jesus or Faustus, you know, and if you look at. Pick a writer, it doesn't matter. Stephen King, you wrote Carrie. You know, what does she do? She. She goes mad with power at the end, you know? [00:22:01] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. [00:22:03] Speaker A: You know, I mean, you're. You're either sacrificing yourself or destroying everyone in the process. It's. It's a pretty great quote. So I think that that's pretty cool. It is true too. Writing is a very solitary art. Or it can be rather, you know. [00:22:16] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:22:17] Speaker A: I think what we do, you know, as poets, as novelists. You're a playwright. I am not. But as. As writers a lot do, is reflection and is self expression. Something I am wondering too, is, you know, you promote yourself as a Christian poet. That's very important to your identity. Go ahead, tell us about that. And also I'm wondering, how does your religion relate to your self expression? You've given me some stuff, obviously, but I don't know, is there anything else that you'd like to expand on in that regard? [00:22:42] Speaker B: Well, I've always just kind of believe that no matter what your beliefs are, because let's. Let's face it, we all go down different paths. You know, you don't come from the same walk of life as I have. So I've always just kind of believed that you should just be honest. You should be open with your beliefs because it is a part of who you are. And Christianity, it does have a huge influence in my life. Like, I can remember, like, even when I was a kid, I. I sort of like, felt like I was always at a place, never really belonged anywhere. And maybe Christianity is a part of that. But I do remember, like, the very first time that I became born again, like I was maybe, like, 14 or 15, and right away I started seeing or noticing, like, spiritual warfare happening. But even prior to that, I can recall many times where I had instances where I sort of, like, had, like, these intrusive thoughts about, like, hurting my bullies, because I had a lot of bullies back then, and what do you know? They're all guys. All the guys wanted to bully me for some reason. [00:24:04] Speaker A: Imagine that. [00:24:07] Speaker B: I don't really understand it, so. Yeah, but I think, like, even from, like, an atheistic standpoint or from, like, as like, a Satanist perspective, I think we all just kind of have, like, an understanding or even just like, a love for the concept of good versus evil. So I think that's also where, like, my love of darkness came from as well. [00:24:40] Speaker A: Okay, that's an interesting answer. Honestly, you know, I. I'm very. I wouldn't describe myself as, you know, like a Levayan Satanist or anything like that. I. I like the. The Satanic Bible, if. If you don't know what that is. It's a book of, like, essentially divine humanism. It posits that there is no such thing as God or the devil. However, because religion is used as this tool of oppression, and because the Bible has lots of faults, we don't need it. We're better off considering man as God himself. And I'm probably gonna cut this, by the way, because this is way off topic. I'm just clarifying some stuff like. [00:25:19] Speaker B: Right. [00:25:20] Speaker A: As such, Satan becomes a tool of resistance, you know, and though you don't worship the devil, you're like, I understand that guy. You know, Levayan Satanism is, like, what makes you happy, what matters to you. You know, I'm very nihilistic, personally. You know, I believe that there's no inherent value in things. We have to impose that ourselves, which we do as humans. We do that. I mean, you know, if my shadow, the hedgehog plushie, you know, caught fire, I would cry because he's very valuable to me. He's my emotional support bear, you know, and, like. But, like, in reality, it's what fluff and fuzz, you know? So do you have any words of wisdom for those who use the words of, you know, Christ and the prophets, Biblical prophets, as weapons against I, you know, LGBTQI plus people or other minorities and religions? We're also living in pretty frightening times right now. [00:26:12] Speaker B: Right. [00:26:13] Speaker A: You know, like, what would you say to people who, like, are on board with this? Because Mr. Trump seems to LARP as a. As a Christian, you know. [00:26:21] Speaker B: Right. I get what you mean? I think the biggest problem in Christianity or in the church is that there are a lot of, like, lukewarm Christians, like, people who claim to be Christian when they're not. You know, those are the kinds of people that they go to the church every Sunday, but then they sleep with the devil, say, like, six days out of the week. That's just the way that I kind of envision it. And it's unfortunate because it is. It is written that there are more lukewarm Christians than there are true Christians. And it's very sad because. And this is just how I feel about the influence that words have. It's kind of like what my father says. My father had always said that words only have power if you give it power. So you can either, like, but you can apply this to anything. You can apply it to religion. You can apply it to, you know, like, racism or homophobia or transphobia. So, like, if something that somebody says does bother you, you know, you have free will. That is. That is the one thing that God gave us that he didn't even give his angels. So if something like I say were to bother you, you don't have to listen, you don't have to agree, because you. In the end, you have a voice, you have a say, and you are your own person. But what I believe as a Christian, and it's the very same philosophy that Jesus has, is that you shouldn't just love your neighbor, but you should love your enemy as well. But you should also be. And I'm not like. Like telling you what to do. I'm just speaking in general. But people need to be more forgiving and more loving and be merciful. Like, we have to be merciful because the. The very same people that is projecting hatred by using, you know, God's name in vain is no different than, like, a terrorist organization or somebody who does promote violence. [00:28:34] Speaker C: It's. [00:28:35] Speaker B: It's all the same, whether it's coming from your mouth or whether it's a, you know, a knife trying to stab somebody. It's no different. It's all the same. [00:28:45] Speaker A: Words have a lot of power. Yeah. [00:28:47] Speaker B: Yep. [00:28:48] Speaker A: You know, war start over words. You know, it's true. [00:28:53] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:28:54] Speaker A: It's very sad. You know, I think that if people were more intellectually honest, we'd have a much happier world. And I do want to clarify that. When you say they go to church on Sunday and then they go. Go to bed with the devil, you're not talking about the devil. I was talking about with, you know, like, this humanistic idea of whatever you're talking about, you know, our worst impulses, you know. [00:29:15] Speaker B: Right, exactly. [00:29:16] Speaker A: Yeah. The biblical Satan who, like, wants the worst for us, you know. [00:29:22] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:29:22] Speaker A: As it were. So. Yeah. Okay, so, you know, getting. Getting off that track. How long have you been writing? I mean, you've mentioned a few things here, you know, but how, you know, how. When did. When did you start? [00:29:38] Speaker B: Oh, very great question. I've been. I've been writing for a really long time. If it wasn't, you know, little old me writing, like, love letters to my crushes, I would write, like, I don't know, just like silly little phrases in my books, or I would draw just whatever would come to mind. I think one of the very first fictional stories I wrote, I was. I think I was in sixth grade, so, like 11 or 12, and I would. And throughout middle school and high school, I wasn't even, like, serious about my writing. It was just more like personal. I didn't get serious and start thinking about getting published until I was in. In college and I was actually pursuing a business degree out of all things. So I think that. I think when you had discovered my work, like, a lot of people seem to really think that I'm like an English major or I'm like a poetry major. And I'm like, no, I'm far from it. I was a business student. [00:30:42] Speaker A: Listen, listen, bitches gotta eat. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, exactly. You know, I have a joke. I have a joke I used to tell all the time. There's a difference between a poet and a park bench. You know, a park bench can support a small family, you know, so, yeah, like, you know, so yeah, that's understandable. You drop the. Are you still a business major? Like, what are you doing? Are you in college right now? [00:31:05] Speaker B: I graduated a long time ago. Like December of 20. [00:31:08] Speaker A: I don't know. I don't assume. I don't assume people's ages. I'm just asking. So, yeah. So what did you end up, you know, graduating with? [00:31:17] Speaker B: I grad. I graduated with a bachelor's degree in supervision and management. [00:31:22] Speaker A: Cool. Okay. So you did get that business degree then? [00:31:25] Speaker B: I did. [00:31:27] Speaker A: I mean, do you have any goals, broadly speaking, for your writing career, or is it just something that you do and it kind of ecstatic way? [00:31:34] Speaker B: Oh, that's a. That's another really good question. I do have a couple of goals. My main goal is to, you know, obviously to get published. I would think that's any writer's goal. Well, but yeah, I think the other Thing. My other goal would be to sort of like become an inspiration for other writers because there are a lot of, you know, writers out there that they're looking to start somewhere or maybe they don't know necessarily what to do. And I just, I just want to inspire people. [00:32:09] Speaker A: Mm, sure, yeah, absolutely. I mean, I will say that success is a highly relative term. You know, I mean, I self publish my own books and, you know, I mean, not exactly laying the world on fire, right? I mean, I have my readers, of course, you know, but, you know, I've kind of learned that like, sometimes the work in and of itself is its own reward, you know. But that's part of why I started Death Wish, you know, because I myself an independent writer and I found a lot of happiness in doing that. And, you know, it's essentially a way to inspire people to make art. Especially considering how sad people are these days, how just broken society feels. You know, I think the career is kind of a loaded term. Um, you know, we often feel like we're spinning our wheels even when we're actively publishing and collaborating. And I say that as myself, as King Loki, you know, like, right. You know, what does career really mean to you? You know, like if you have even thought about that. Right, the word. The word, you know, like, right. [00:33:14] Speaker B: So when I think of a career like a writing career, it sounds more like almost like a job. Like you're getting paid to do it. Getting paid to do something that you don't want to do. Like you gotta wake up at like, what, 8:00 in the morning, you gotta drive to work, you're gonna be miserable the whole time, and then you're gonna come home and it's gonna be the whole ritual again. But I don't really see writing to be a job. I kind of see it more as, like. I don't know if a lifestyle is like a great way of putting it, but it just comes naturally to me because I very much enjoy. Would be nice if I got paid to write or if I got, you know, imagine all of us getting paid to write. Short stories, poems, plays, reviews. [00:34:08] Speaker A: What do you think this is, Finland or something? [00:34:10] Speaker B: Ace essays, novels. That, that would be fantastic. But it is, you know, as much as it is fun writing your own works, it is a lot of work because it does take up a lot of your time and it's got to be time that you dedicate to it. And if you don't, you end up like, procrastinating and then it just keeps getting put off and put off and put off and. [00:34:37] Speaker A: Yeah, well, what you're describing, it really is art, you know, I mean. Yeah, you know, like, I don't think I've ever written a novel in a single draft. I mean, you know, and especially with a poem. I mean, I've had to scrap what I was writing, like, several times, even with like, like a five line poem. Those are some of the worst. I mean, for fuck's sake. Yeah, you would think that you could write it in one go, but. [00:35:00] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:35:00] Speaker A: No, no, no, no, no. It is, it is an art. It is essentially a craft. And just because you're not getting paid for it doesn't mean it's not your life. You know, I have always said writing is my life. You know, even when I was working, like in retail as like a college student, and I'd have people go, oh, it's not. It's not your life. You don't get paid for it. And I'm like, oh, what is Old Navy? Your life, you know, is folding clothes your life? You know, Exactly. Does that define you? Like, you know, if you're building model train sets in your basement, why can't that be your life? You know, I'd even, I'd even take like, you know those people that say, oh, my kids are my life. Well, yeah, I mean, you're investing in them. There's some value there. Working for a corporation is not your life, you know, like, but, you know, people are going to find fulfillment where they find it. Right? And, you know, you so happen. We so happen to be people who find it in our art. And, you know, I believe, as Nietzsche believed, that art is essentially our salvation. You know, it's how we express ourselves and share our. Well, what makes us, you know, our souls, as it were, with one another. So, yeah, I think that's a. I mean, it would be nice if we were paid for what we do, but that's not why we do it, is the key. [00:36:15] Speaker C: Yeah, exactly. [00:36:16] Speaker A: You know, and hey, if we find, you know, as writers, if we find our audiences, great. If we don't, as a wise rabbi once said to me, also great, you know. [00:36:24] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. [00:36:28] Speaker A: So as I said, poetry and art, you know, they can be described as salvation by wiser and more prolific writers than I. Has writing saved you in specific ways? You know? [00:36:40] Speaker B: Yeah, I would say every. Every single time that I've written something, it has saved me in one way or another. Like, for example, like, one of the questions I think maybe you've asked me before is if I had any projects that I was working on for any of my followers that follow me on Instagram. Pretty sure people know or vaguely know that I'm working on a memoir in verse. So a memoir in verse is kind of like a biography or an autobiography, but instead of it being traditional or formal, you're writing in more of, like, a poetic fashion. So a lot of what I'm writing is new poetry, but I'm also writing my own plays, and there's a little bit of prose as well. [00:37:31] Speaker A: Cool. Interesting. Did you want to tell us about your other projects? You can expand as much as you'd like. I mean, I'd love to hear about them personally. [00:37:41] Speaker B: That's what. Well, that's the one that I'm currently working on. I have worked on other projects before. There was another story that I wrote. It was a. It was more of a fictional story. I tried for so long to, like, push it to a couple of publishers, and it just didn't work out. So I just decided, like, you know, let me just work on something else, and maybe I'll come back to it later on. But never get rid of your written stuff. Never delete any of your drafts, because even if it might be terrible now, but it might not be so terrible a year from now or five years from now or 10 years from now, so. [00:38:27] Speaker A: No, no, no, you're right. I mean, I have this werewolf novel I was working on when I was a lot, like, when I was in my 20s. And, you know, now that I'm writing, like, you know, these dark fantasy novels, I'm thinking about resurrecting it in that world because. Yeah, yeah, like, that would be cool now the context changes, and I'm also a much more mature and advanced writer. So, like, I agree. I have a. I have a kind of. I have this rule about art. We're not allowed to throw away art in this house, you know, So I agree with that. What did I want to ask you? Let me look at my sheet here. Okay. We are at 30 minutes, so we can wrap up whenever you're ready. But let me see. Let me just make sure I don't have something else, because I asked you about your other pieces. Oh, yeah. So I think it's worth asking. So a memoir, right? Like, I'm not. I'm not thinking about writing a memoir. You know, I'm 34, going on 35. I feel like that's kind of young. Have I lived a dramatic and interesting life worth telling people about? Probably. But I feel like, you know, until I reach 50, like, I'm not old enough to be telling people whatever, but that's just my opinion. What inspired you to write a memoir at your age? I'm assuming you're not 54, you know. [00:39:43] Speaker B: Well, I'm 23 going on 24, so I'm not necessarily writing about my entire life. Interestingly enough, I'm actually writing about my writing journey. And I think you might actually like my story because I do use the theme of good and evil, but I mostly use or talk about demons, the devil, the serpent, little things like that, because I guess I'll be real short and sweet with it. But a long time ago, even before I got a business degree, I took a couple of creative writing courses. And I'm not going to give any, any credit to this person, but I had a professor once upon me meeting this person. Aside from the typical, like usual advice that maybe an educator would give to their student, like, they talked about, you know, like low residency MFA programs, they talked about marketing, business, all the usual stuff. But within that same discussion, that person had basically told me that, that I wouldn't get published or I wouldn't succeed or my life would be difficult or terrible because I'm a woman and I'm just like, what are you talking about? But it was from that little experience that I had that I believe. I don't want to say like a portal open, but when I think of the spiritual realm, I do truly believe that like angels and demons, they have the power to see things that we can't see with the naked eye. So imagine, like around, like, imagine we don't have an aura, but we have like a shield. [00:41:42] Speaker A: Okay? [00:41:42] Speaker B: And let's just say, like when something traumatic happens, like, let's say, you know, like somebody goes through some kind of abuse or they go through some kind of trauma, suddenly there's like these little cracks in that shield or whatever you want to call it. And the devil or demons can try to just like slip through the cracks, try to interfere with your life, try to distract you or destroy you in whatever ways that they can. And I do believe that that was what's going on throughout my writing journey. A lot of the influences that I had or a lot of the writings that I did, it wasn't really, it wasn't about God, it was about like the devil, or it was about like these sort of like demonic things. There were even things that I started doing. Like I started becoming a lot more angry or a lot more aggressive, or I became rebellious and it's just not my character at all. In fact, it was that very incident, which I call it the incident that inspired the world Hated Me first. [00:42:55] Speaker A: Right, right. [00:42:56] Speaker B: In fact, the fourth section, which I call it the incident, that was the very first section I ever wrote. I wrote it that same night when I got home after that day. [00:43:06] Speaker A: It was this guy basically not giving you anything constructive and just telling you, like, yo, get out of here. [00:43:12] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly, exactly. But I had forgotten about that at the time. And what that person did was despite giving me, like, all this, like, really cool advice, because at that point, I knew that I wanted to be an author, but I did not know exactly where to start. I did not have social media at the time, so I didn't have Instagram, I didn't have Facebook book. And I only knew one person who was a published author. So I basically went to that person, like, hey, I'm looking to be an author. Can you help me? So, yeah, I don't really remember, like, a lot that took place, but it's usually, like, the bad things that happen, that's, like, what you remember most, which is just so sad and it's so unfortunate. But I do remember going home that night, and I took time out of my day to write a letter of appreciation. It was nothing more than that. It was like, hey, thank you for, you know, for being a mentor and whatnot. And that was when everything just kind of. Just kind of fell apart. And that person was like, you know what? What you had sent me was inappropriate. It was unprofessional. You shouldn't send something like this to a professional professor. Get away from me. Like, they went as far as to tell me, you know, I don't want you to come by my office anymore. I don't want you reaching out to me. Just stay the hell away from me. So that's when, like, all the emotions started taking place because I didn't know what the heck, like, why this person would react the way that they did. But it's fine, because I'm writing about it. And I think out of all the stories that I've ever written, probably because this event that took place is based on true events, this is probably the most, like, hardcore. And, like, it's got a lot of raw emotions. It's. There's a lot that takes place. But I do believe that once it's out there and once it's published, I do believe that you would enjoy it. I do believe there's a lot of other people that would enjoy it. In fact, I actually shared my story, like, my entire story. Not obviously not the, the written version to another one of our contributors. His name is Jack Brennan, you probably already know him. He actually told me that he like one of his favorite authors had like gone through the same, if not similar experiences as I have where this author was told by their professor that they would never get published or they would never make it. So out of spite, that author went and got published, but also would go to like his professor's office or like to like the mailbox outside his office and leave published copies of, of his books. And I think that's absolutely just, yeah, great. [00:46:32] Speaker A: It's, it's petty in a really, really impish way. Gotta love it. Yeah. I mean, have you thought about like self publishing? I mean, I self published my Demon Land novels. I self published my, my Dream of the Ash, my, you know, my book of poetry. I mean, it's definitely something to do. I mean, you know, you just gotta promote it yourself. That's the key. You don't have a corporation behind you, you know, you don't have a publisher behind you. So, you know. [00:46:56] Speaker B: But yeah, to answer your question, I have thought about self publishing. I just, I just didn't know whether I wanted to self publish or just traditionally publish, you know, this book that I'm working on. But I know there are pros and cons to both. Like, I know with self publishing I think you get more of your royalties, but at the same time you're also shelling a bunch of money. Like if you're wanting somebody to do like your cover art, you gotta hire somebody. If you want someone to edit, you gotta hire somebody. So it almost seems like it's a lot of work. [00:47:33] Speaker A: I mean, I do my own editing, but not everyone, not everyone is as effective at it as I am. And people do pay for that kind of thing. Formatting is an issue. Cover art is probably my biggest expense. Although, you know, behind me is actually a cover that my co host did for my first book. You know, I redid the COVID but that, yeah, those are concerns. I will say that the biggest downside to traditional is, well, you just might never get picked up because it's so competitive, you know, like I got tired of my stuff sitting in the slush pile. I was like, I could be writing my second book. Like, so I just started self publishing because writing was more important than getting published. To me. It was just like, this is a waste of my time. You know, a lot of public, a lot of publishers are risk averse. They, they see that your book has demons or werewolves. In it. And oh, that's not popular right now. Or oh, can you make the character a teenager? Oh, can you do that? And it's just like, I don't know, it's, it's. You're dealing with a corporate America at that point and I, I don't have time for that, you know. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, fair enough. I mean being a writer is hard and deciding what to do with your work is. It's, it's as hard as writing at times. And yeah, I would love to see your memoir. I think it sounds fantastic. And I will say that if you self publish it, I mean we would be very happy to like make a post about it or something because you're one of our writers at this point. Like you know, actually our social media sorceress Ashley, she was like, when she was making the copy for this post, she was like, she wrote former writers. Are you one of our. I was like, no, no. Are you one of our writers? Like, you know, like these are people that are, they remain our writers. Like this is not. Yeah, so, right, exactly. Yeah. So if you end up publishing that, let us know. I mean, we'd love to, you know, at least reference it. I would love to see what you do with that. I would also be very open to like, I don't know, taking a look at it. Like one of our writers, Dustin, he, he's written a few pieces for us. He actually interviewed a wrestler for the Winter edition. Incredibly badass piece. He's such a cool guy, Dustin. He has a werewolf novel that I'm reading right now, you know what I mean? And he's not part of the workshop or anything, so just saying more than happy to take a look at it. What I wanted to say was, you know, in wrapping up, did you have any, you know, books you'd want to recommend? Any books that I recommend or writers or anything really? [00:50:06] Speaker B: Oh, that's a very good question. Well, I do follow quite a few self published authors. One of my favorite authors actually goes by aunt Richards. He's actually the one author that I interviewed myself. So he currently resides, I believe in London. He is also a fiction writer. He wrote a couple of books like I believe on paperback, it's in your dreams. And there is an anthology that he wrote called Damned if I don't short thrills. My favorite story in that one is called no easy answer. It's so, it's so ridiculous. It's so funny. But there's also quite a few stories where it's not like all fun like, he writes maybe like psychological thrill thrillers. There's a mafia story in there. There's a sad story in there. So you get to really, like, have a pick at, like, what you like to read. [00:51:15] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:51:16] Speaker B: But he also, he mainly does audiobook narrators, which that's something I've been told that I, that I should do. Even some of my followers on Instagram, like what I'm trying to do on Instagram and maybe I might try to do it on YouTube, I'm not really sure, but I'm trying to do like readings of either my own work or other people's work. And a lot of people seem to really enjoy that. And even like my own family is like, hey, you should think about doing audiobooks, because there is a market for that and if you do it the right way, you can attract a lot of people to listen to your works. And a lot of people seem to really like it. When I write, it's. It's been like that for as long as I can remember. [00:52:05] Speaker A: I say, just do things. I mean, my sign off on the Demon Toast podcast is always just write poetry, make art, you know. [00:52:13] Speaker B: Right. [00:52:13] Speaker A: Just do things. That's what I say. I mean, I will tell you that, you know, the most attention I ever get is when I talk about Marilyn Manson. Because, man, his fans, they just do not want to let it go. It's crazy. You know, it's like, oh, he got away with it. He didn't do it. It's like you talking about, man, we live in America. Like, of course he got away. He had a higher paid lawyer. But now, yeah, just do things, man. You know, read your books. I mean, talk about review books on YouTube. Why the fuck not everyone else is doing it? You know, it's free. It's free. Like, doesn't cost anything, you know, that's cool, That's. That's good. So, all right. Yeah, so where can people find out, find you? You know, obviously we'll have links below. Do look at those. But, you know, do you have a website or anything like that or just your Instagram? [00:53:03] Speaker B: I don't have a website. I do have, you know, my Instagram, but I also have a Facebook as well. [00:53:12] Speaker A: Cool. Okay, great. And you know, it sounds like you're very communicative with your, your community, as it were. And yeah, I mean, you're awesome. People should definitely be interacting with you and trying to collaborate with you. So Marissa Jade, you know, check her out or else. Or I'll come get you. I'm King Loki of course, you know, check out deathwishpoetry.com or don't. I'll come get you if you don't, though. And that's about that. This has been our author spotlight, right? Hey, thanks so much for watching that. Our writers are the lifeblood of what we do here. And, you know, I really hope that something, you know, inspired you from what they said, because they've all been very insightful and fascinating in their own way. Listen, we do take submissions. We are quarterly. And, you know, if you want to know when our physical edition is coming out or when our digital edition is open for submissions, please check us out on Instagram link below or go to our website. We're usually pretty loud about it. Also, if you want to support us, you know, if you join our patreon at the $1, you know, level, or any level really, I will personally send you one of these really cool stickers. And they're pretty big, they're pretty high quality. So, you know, put them on your car, put them on your back, put them on your wall. I don't know, put them somewhere. Or head over to Great Satan's Emporium and buy a super cool mug or a T shirt and, you know, support us. It helps to support independent art and. Well, stay tuned for what comes next. Most likely more interviews and always more dematoast episodes and episodes of monster fangs as well. So Ave Satanist.